


The lullaby of feral Five

by Marble_Spider



Series: The life of Feral Five and his lovely wife [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Attempted oral sex, F/M, Feral Behavior, Naked Cuddling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2020-01-12 22:02:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18455489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marble_Spider/pseuds/Marble_Spider
Summary: Professor Five gets lost in an equation at work and his wife Vanya has to come get him and bring him home for cuddles





	The lullaby of feral Five

**Author's Note:**

> So part two is here!! I may add more to it but not sure what to write so ideas if anyone wants me to continue!!

It's the first day of class for his new students at the university he works at and he already has his lesson plan set out for the newbies on one side of his desk. Small gifts are piled in a box on the side of it specifically for them from the older ones returning to the university. Most of which are for Vanya, the only things really for him are the bland jasmine chocolates because regular chocolate is to sweet for him. He doesn't mind. Is actually pretty grateful that she makes an even bigger impact on them than he does even if her visits are fleeting. Just shows him how much more confident she's become.

 

His TA, Samantha, comes in just before the new students and smiles at him before sitting in her own desk in the corner with her own small chalkboard behind her. Three out of four of his walls are covered in near ceiling to floorboards for him to work on and jump between. The last wall has the door attached in it and regretfully can't hold a board so he has a giant bookshelf on it instead filled with math books or books he and Vanya enjoy.

 

The last of his new class trickles in and Samantha very overtly reminds him to be sure to show his appreciation to his wife once he gets home. He hears snickers around the room but just smiles knowingly at her and starts to introduce himself to the new kids. He goes to the board behind him first with his chalk ready and tells them they can ask whatever questions they want and he'll write the answers on the board or out loud so they can get to know him. They ask him boring questions and follow him around the room as he moves from one board to the other. Someone finally asks him what all the gifts are for and Samantha interrupts and says they're for his wife because she's awesome.

 

“Don't hit a desk Mr. H!” She says as he jumps again only to do just that when she mentions his wife.

 

“Aw, it's adorable how much of a love sick hottie you are. Can't even walk straight when she's mentioned.”

 

“That's inappropriate Samantha.” He grumbles at her as he straightens himself.

 

“Inappropriate yet true nonetheless. Besides we're all adults here and it's not like I'm interested in you. I pity the girls that are though since you only have eyes for Mrs. H. Now sit down and let me take over. I have plans for the newbies.” He frowns at her and scoots over as she bumps his hip with her own.

 

“Don't make me call your wife. It's only the first class of the day Mr. H. We have six more of these to get through so you may as well give up now because the other girls will be doing it too.” He does as he's told and sits in his chair when she mentions Vanya again. 

 

Figures she's right and lets her get on with it knowing his other TAs will be doing the same just as she said they will. It's become tradition for his TAs to make fun of the new classes each new term and school them on his ways. She takes his chalk piece out of his hand and writes down his first name and underlines it only to write out Vanya's name on the other side and underline hers as well.

 

“Now, who can raise their hand and tell me what you think of or know about Mr. H right now. Before you ask no anything you say won't be held against you for the rest of the year. Any rumors you've heard count too so don't be shy.”

 

Most all of them raise their hands only to lower them when what they were going to say gets put up before they get called. The first thing that gets put up is that he's hot. Another says he's crazy about math. One mentions that he detests technology which Samantha smiles at. That he's direct and always to the point. That he acts like an eighty year old man even though he's only thirty. That he's the youngest in his field. That he doesn't like chocolate. He never sits still. Uses his power to get to most places even in his own classroom.

 

It's when they get to Vanya that they're all stumped and the real fun begins. They base her features off his own which is their first mistake but Samantha writes it all down anyway. They say she has a grumpy personality like he does. That she's a supermodel. She's skinny and shy. Has black hair like him. Is only a few inches shorter than he is. Assumes she's boring or a librarian.

 

She makes another column under the Vanya one and writes out all the things they need correcting on: that he's actually a head taller than she is and has to bend to her height. Her hair is dark brown and skin alabaster white. That he follows her around like a puppy because she's so confident. Underlines confident to get the point across. That she's reserved but not shy. That she's a high school music teacher. Is almost the exact opposite of him in personalities and is more up beat than he is.

 

He notices a few calling out what she's really like before Samantha writes them down and realizes they had her for high school so they already know. That they in turn have heard stories about him. A small smile forms on his face when some of them get mad when another says she's probably boring. 

 

Eventually Samantha erases the columns and allows him to actually teach. He jumps around the room from board to board and glance behind him seeing most of them struggle to keep up. Some have already figured out the pattern he uses but it's an unspoken rule in his classroom that once you know it you don't tell anyone else. He teaches an AP class for a reason and only wants the brightest minds so if you can't keep up on the first day then you probably shouldn't be in the class.

 

Samantha echoes his thoughts out loud as she challenges them to figure it out for themselves and that once they do then it will be easy to follow along because the pattern doesn't change. She's right, he goes in the same direction for each new formula. The only changing aspect is his speed as it picks up just a bit more as more people catch on. He pauses for questions and answers them diligently. Watches as some people leave before the bell even rings. 

 

Glances to Samantha in her chair and sees her scratch their names off the roster when they leave and makes a new one basing it off of how fast she can tell they each keep up with him based on their expressions. It's something he's noticed that has been passed down from old TA to new one that he indulges a bit. He enjoys how they know how he likes to rank his class and likes to challenge the ones that are falling behind but stay because they want to improve. He always focuses on them first so they can catch up.

 

The bell rings for lunch eventually and he relishes in the silence as he eats the sandwich Vanya made for him that morning. Scrolls through Facebook to glance at his siblings vacation pictures, only has the damn thing to keep in contact with them in the first place. He's not nearly as technologically inclined as Vanya is. She just got him into the Netflix not to long ago.

 

It's when he deviates from the Facebook and onto random math sites to challenge his brain that he gets caught up in one of them. The damn thing says it's impossible to figure out and Five always loves a good challenge. So he rolls up his sleeves to above his forearms and gets to work. He doesn't hear the bell ring. Doesn't hear his next TA come in to greet him. All he can focus on is this stupid math problem. He's already filled up the board behind his desk while leaving plenty of room for the list that's been happening before the actual lesson for the day. He filled up the left board, known as board two, a few minutes ago and was now starting on the third one. Flickering back and forth to compare notes from one and two.

 

*************************************************************

 

Claire walks into Mr. Hargreaves class expecting to do the same thing Samantha, Jade, Holly and Lexi did. She greeted him without really paying attention and went to the TA desk in the corner to set her things down. Grabbed the Five Manual, which was a binder they made with instructions in front on how to handle the odd things he does in case you aren't sure, out of the small desk drawer and flipped through it to see if there were any new notes in the notebook part of it in the back. She ignores the popping sounds that his portals give off when he jumps, figuring he's just bored or something, as she flips through the binder and waits for the new kids to fill the room.

 

“Oh jesus fuck.” She lets out as she sees him jumping from board to board. 

 

He's comparing boards one and two to the third one that he was working on only to flick back to one of the others and change something. Notices the large gap he left on the first one and sees that he left room for her to do their comparison quiz the TA’s liked to do on the first day. She could see the answers from previous classes and knew that as the day went on the kids in the front row would have it easier if they could see then answers too. While it was sweet of him to humor them they had a bigger issue right now than teaching. 

 

She grabs her phone and goes on the TA group chat named  The Five Squad that they always have open:

 

**Claire (5): We have a fucking code three right now!! It's day one people! DAY FUCKING ONE!**

 

**Sam (1): HOW?! He was fine this morning I swear!**

 

**Jade (2): He was fine during second period too.**

 

**Holly (3): Did you call Mrs. H yet?**

 

**Max 1-14: If Mrs. H doesn't pick up then get Dr. H. Maybe the Dean too.**

 

**Lexi (4): I swear to every goddess above he was fine before lunch! What the fuck happened?**

 

**Amanda 3-15: I thought you guys blocked all the math sites?**

 

**Sam (1): Was he like that when you came in?**

 

**Claire (5): Yep. Popping in and out. I ignored it when I was checking the binder because I thought he was just bored! Wasn't until I looked up that I saw all the equations.**

 

**Sarah 5-12: Did he leave enough room for the list? If so then he's not to far gone for Mrs. H to talk to him over the phone.**

 

**AJ (6): Call Mrs. H and put her on speaker. Hopefully he's not to out of it that he tunes her out…**

 

**Beth 1-17: Dude can't use Facebook but is an excellent hacker! Told y'all he'd find a way to get into them eventually! Hope everything goes well. Keep us posted!**

 

**AJ (6): I'll come over early and help you take pics of the board so we can make sure to get all of it! I can get out now if need be.**

 

Claire does as she's told making sure her volume is on all the way beforehand and calls Vanya. She looks at the terrified students in the room as it's ringing and pities them. This definitely isn't the best way to meet their teacher. Especially the guy that happens to be her favorite one.

 

_ “How bad is it Claire?”  _ Mrs. H asks once she picks up on the third ring.

 

“He's on board number three and steadily filling it up. He has a half eaten sandwich on his desk from lunch. I already talked to the others and they said he was fine before so he must have found something during his break to obsess over. I'm putting you on speaker now.”

 

_ “Five? Sweetheart?”  _ Claire watches as he goes as still as a statue when he hears his wife's voice and lets out a sigh of relief. She then watches him whirl around frantically looking around the room for her. When his eyes finally settle on her phone he frowns at it, like he forgot that they existed in the first place and that you no longer had to be in front of the person to talk to them. He stays still though and glares at it as she speaks to him.

 

_ “Honey whatever you're doing it can wait. Okay? Whatever you're working on can wait. We have time.” _

 

“V, I-” 

 

_ “No, Five!”  _ She yells at him over the phone cutting off whatever he was going to say.

 

_ “We have time, love. Okay? Now you're going to sit down for me.”  _ He falls to the floor with a huff right after the words exit her mouth.

 

_ “He just sat on the floor didn't he?”  _ She asks after she hears the thud.

 

“Well you weren't very specific so…. really that was on you but yeah. Yeah he did.” She replies to his wife while keeping her eyes locked on her favorite teacher. Hoping that worry isn't showing on her face like she thinks it is.

 

_ I'll be there soon. Five, eat your sandwich.”  _ She tells them just before hanging up.

 

Claire hands him his sandwich for him to eat and then puts her phone on her desk. When she turns around again his sandwich is gone and he's grabbing his chalk off the ground then gets up. Whatever spell Mrs. H placed on him had apparently disappeared. He turns back to the board and starts writing out whatever equation he's working on albeit at a much slower pace than before. She doesn't even think as she grabs her spray bottle that she keeps in her purse for her hair and sprays him with it. The water hits the side of his face and he stops writing.

 

He turns toward her slowly and wipes the water off his face in disbelief. His fingers catch on his light stubble as he does so. She hears the class spout whispered curses and remarks that she's going to get fired. She stares at him in shock at her actions. Didn't even register doing it until it happened. Lowers the bottle slowly and realizes neither of them have fully registered what just happened.

 

“Did you just… spray me with water like a cat?”

 

“....It appears so and I am prepared to do it again if you don't put that chalk down. At least I think I am. Please don't fire me.”

 

“You think you are?”

 

“I haven't really decided yet.” She murmurs hesitantly. 

 

“I see.” He turns back around and puts a new line on the board only to get sprayed by the bottle three more times. Two of which land on the top of his head and make his hair wet. 

 

“Okay I get that I probably shouldn't have done that but hear me out! I had to go through six other teacher aids in order to become yours. I had to send in an essay to your wife before I could even apply to be your aid so if you aren't going to do as she said and go sit your butt down in your chair then I am prepared to keep spraying you with this until you do!” She yells at him as he turns towards her again and narrows his eyes at her.

 

He sighs in defeat, sets the chalk on the protruding metal tray and walks to his desk. She watches him squint at the clock over the door and debates on if she should talk to him anymore or if she's done enough. Her brazen nature wins out and the words are out of her mouth before she can stop them.

 

“You know you could see that better if you actually wore your glasses right?” She somehow startles him in his seat as he jumps slightly in his chair at her words. Probably focusing to much on the clock and forgot his surroundings or didn't expect her to talk again after her outburst.

 

“If Vanya asks I'm wearing contacts?”

 

“That sounded like a question sir.” She peers at his computer from behind him as she comes up and sees a complex math problem on it. Most likely the cause of his spiral.

 

“You know you should… probably teach something since I'm obviously not going to be able to. Half of them are probably terrified right now as it is.” He replies to her, very obviously avoiding answering her.

 

“Wait… how did you even get on that site? We had the university block those specifically because of you.”

 

“The university needs better internet security.” He replies like he just offered her a chocolate instead of saying he somehow hacked into the system even though he can't manage regular internet.

 

“How the hell did you hack into the system and still not know how to use Facebook properly? Better yet how has the government NOT tried to offer you a job by now?!”

 

“Oh they did. I just...didn't want it.”

 

“You yelled at them when they said that you'd have to be away from Mrs. H for months on end didn't you.”

 

“.....Maybe. Plus I have issues with authority apparently, so… there's that.”

 

“That is utterly adorable. I'm definitely telling the others on our group chat when you leave” She replies nonchalantly.

 

“Your what?”

 

“Our group chat.” She says simply honestly not sure how she can explain it any simpler.

 

“On Facebook.” She decides to elaborate.

 

“I know what the Facebook is Claire. What's this group thing?”

 

“It's on messenger. You do know what messenger is right? The little chat bubble with the lightning icon in it.”

 

“You mean that thing Klaus sends me jokes on?”

 

“....Yeah sure.”

 

“Wait why did you make one of those things?”

 

“Oh I didn't. Your wife did when you first started and had your first um… spiral… all of the old and new assistants are on it and help out if you get to bad. The new ones have numbers by our names according to the hour we help you in and the older ones have the hour number with a dash followed by the last two digits of the year they helped you so we can keep track.”

 

He doesn't respond to her after. She's fairly positive he doesn't know how or what to say and decides to make a pocket portal on his desk instead. A stapler appears out of it seconds later. He chuckles when he hears a door slam open in the hallway.

 

She groans at his antics. Both know exactly what's going to happen next. She tries to come up with ways to bribe him to give the stapler back and only thinks of two when the door is slammed open by the other Hargreaves professor. The stapler stealing had been happening for as long as the two both started working at the university and she knew that his brother would retaliate somehow eventually. Now though Ben Hargreaves was standing in the entryway glaring at her professor like he wanted him dead.

 

“Give me back my stapler you godforsaken feral cat!”

 

“No. It's shiny and it's mine now. It even has my initials on it.”

 

“For the last time they're my initials! B.H. are mine! F.H. are yours! Don't act like three of your shelves in your metal cabinet aren't full of my staplers either! And for the record only a third of the stapler is actually shiny!” He stalks over to the desk and snatches it off as he's yelling. Starts to stalk away and pauses when the equations on the boards obviously catch his eye as he walks away.

 

“Do I need to call Vanya?” He asks in a hushed tone, almost like a whisper that he's afraid to say any louder.

 

“She's on her way. He's fine now I promise. Sorry about your stapler Dr. H.” Claire says to him quickly, trying to diffuse his anger some.

 

“It's fine. So long as he's not so stuck in his weird cat brain anymore. I'm keeping  _ my _ stapler though.” He waves the object in front of them as he replies gently and smiles at her. Then proceeds to walk out while her professor frowns at his brother's retreating back.

 

“If I licked it would that make it mine?” Mr. H asks him as he gets one foot out the door.

 

“No! Just because you lick something does not make it yours Five!” He yells back as he retreats down the hallway and back to his own class.

 

“Pretty sure it does.” She hears him mumble under his breath.

 

*************************************************************

 

Vanya was completely prepared to walk into her husband's classroom and see him scribbling away at one of his chalkboards. What she isn't prepared for however is to see her husband sitting at his desk with his hands resting under his chin gently and watching as Claire writes down their comparison lists between she and him they did every first day on the third board. She also didn't expect him to have so much chalk on his hands, or his sleeves rolled up to show off his biceps, or his hair to look so frazzled and shiny. It was almost like he ran water through it just to get her flustered. Even his slight stubble on his face has a bit of shine to it somehow.

 

_ You're married and you're allowed to look. You're married and you're allowed to look. You're married and you're allowed to look.  _ She repeats in her head like a mantra hoping she doesn't say it out loud.

 

“Oh my fuck, he's hot.” Is what she actually mumbles out of her mouth and knows she looks like a deer caught in headlights and a blush is forming on her face as Claire looks at her knowingly.

 

“We're married and I'm allowed!” She whines at the girl. Even stomps her foot and balls her fists up at her sides in defiance.

 

“ _ You most certainly are _ . Also no judgement. Thankfully he can't even think about cheating on you without his brain short circuiting otherwise I'm fairly positive a lot more freshmans would hit on him.”

 

Vanya sees the exact moment her husband realizes she's in the room with him. His head snaps up so fast that she's afraid it'll give him whiplash or something and his breath stills inside him momentarily like he can't breathe without her permission. Only to give her a goofy smile that reaches his eyes and makes them twinkle as he does a minute later. She squeaks in return and watches as he does indeed blink rapidly like he's restarting and gets a sour look on his face when his brain catches up with their conversation about him committing possible adultery. 

 

“See?” The aid wiggles her eyebrows at her as Five stands up at his desk only to pop out behind her via portal.

 

She feels him bend down to her and rub his nose up and down the back of her neck then his stubble against her cheek. Wraps his arms around her waist gently to hold her to him. Lets out a contented hum of approval that sounds oddly cat-like as she reaches behind her and runs her hand through his hair which is indeed wet for some reason.

 

“I kinda sprayed him with a spray bottle I keep in my purse for my hair when he wouldn't put down the chalk.” The aid says as explanation when she pulls her hand down and rubs her fingers together.

 

She doesn't comment. Choosing instead to turn around in her husband's arms and look into his adoring face. His breath gets caught in his throat again when she looks at him and she giggles at him. Doesn't understand how after ten years of marriage he can still act like a love sick fool. She runs her hands down the sides of his face and smiles at him. Ignoring the other people in the room completely as she tries to gauge her husband's mental state.

 

“You're not wearing your glasses.” She chooses to comment instead of out right asking him. Knowing he'd rather her do it later in private regardless of how much they've already seen.

 

“I uh… lost them.” She hums at him and steps out of his grasp and pulls out an extra pair from in her purse. He puts them on with a frown and Vanya immediately knows she's messed up when he looks at her again after fixing them. 

 

‘ _ Oh god I made it worse. How did he manage to get even hotter? Should I take them off? No Vanya he needs them to see. Dumb-ass. He doesn't normally wear them though. I mean what are his other options? He's not going to go for surgery. Oh wait! Contacts exist! I could order him contacts. Wait, no I can't you need a prescription for that. I could tell him he needs to get his eyes checked then they'll offer contacts as another option! Way to go Vanya you figured it out! You're a genius and deserve nice things! Wait! That won't work either, dammit I forgot he makes his own eye appointments and has when he needs to go in memorized. Fuck.’  _

 

“V are you okay?” He looks at her like she's a puzzle he needs to figure out. 

 

‘ _ An equation.’ _ Her brain supplies.

 

_ ‘Wait. Why is he looking at me like that? Abort, abort! Oh god he's so hot. Why is this happening to me?! I probably shouldn't think he's so hot. ...Hold on... We're married dumb-ass I can look freely. Whew, I almost forgot for a second.’ _

 

“I think you need contacts.” She blurts out in response. 

 

_ ‘Nailed it.’  _ She thinks right after. Doing a little dance in her head in celebration.

 

“Okay”

 

“Hotforprofessor.” Vanya hears Claire fake cough at the chalkboard.

 

“Ahem, oh there was a… bug… in my throat. It was stuck. I got it though.” Somehow Five is the one that blushes at the girls’ response instead of her. 

 

“Um, I have a question.” “Yeah I have multiple.” At least two of Five's students speak up behind them grabbing their attention.

 

Vanya and Five seem to go into teacher mode at the exact same time as they turn their attention to the poor students. Some of which she recognizes from being in her own classroom. They steadily answer their questions as they ask them. 

 

“Why does Five go by Mister instead of Doctor like the other Dr. Hargreaves?” He explains that it got to confusing when they were both being addressed so he decided to just stick with Mister instead. 

 

She smiles at his bold lie and remembers real reason: that the first time they got introduced as Dr. and Mrs. Hargreaves he got so annoyed and flustered at the same time when he realized they didn't match anymore that he corrected anyone to stick to Mister when they tried to say otherwise. 

 

“What was with all the equations on the board?” Thankfully Claire answers that one for them and explains that he just gets stuck on one for a bit to long and can't focus on anything else until he figures it out.

 

“Are they going to have class tomorrow?” Five answers once more but in what she knows is his annoyed tone that  _ yes _ they'll be having class tomorrow.

 

Once all of their questions are answered Claire ushers them out the door claiming that while it's cute and adorable that they're love sick for each other they really should be heading home and that she has the class covered from here. Tells Five before he can ask her that yes she and AJ will take multiple pictures of the equation and compare them, making sure they're all clear enough for him to read right and they don't miss anything before they wipe the boards off. Vanya thanks her in return and is just met with a smile before they're made to leave the classroom and let her take over like she's supposed to when this happens.

 

The drive home in her car is silent as she focuses on the road and he thinks. They made a mutual silent agreement to leave his car in the lot and figured he'd just portal back tomorrow and drive it home after work. Didn't even put up a fight when she made a bee line for her car and passed his up. He seemed to share her thoughts as he got into the passenger seat without prompting from her. Plus she didn't trust him to drive at the moment no matter how sane he seemed and he knew that.

 

*************************************************************

 

All he kept thinking about on the way home was  _ that he was fine.  _ Knew however that his wife would see otherwise and that it was best for him to follow her lead until they go home. So he waited. He waited as the car turned down the familiar path he took daily to get to work. He waited and tried to figure out how to explain to her that he was fine without her worrying to much. It was a slip up. He just got to focused. The damn thing was taunting him. 

 

Found himself blowing hot air onto his window and writing bits of the equation out on the self-made fog until it goes away only to repeat the process with a new piece of it. He doesn't register her concerned glances at him as she drives. To focused on his work still. Doesn't register the car stopping and that they're actually home until she opens his door for him.

 

“I'm fine.” He tells her when they get inside their bedroom and she sits him down on the bed. 

 

He's lying though. His skin is to tight. His clothes are to itchy. There's to many and he needs them off. Needs to curl up and rest his head on her stomach, listen to her heartbeat without any clothes in between them. Just his ear on her skin and her fingers running through his hair soothingly. She seems to understand his unspoken words or maybe he spoke them out loud and didn't realize it again. Wouldn't be the first time he did it. Remembers their escapade in the bathroom last month and his eventual break down on her. Either way she removes his shoes and socks for him just the same.

 

Undoes his belt and lowers his zipper. Pulls his pants and boxers down all at once. Gently bats his hands away when he tries to help. There's nothing sexual about it like there normally is. Instinctually he knows she's doing it to make him more comfortable. Reading his body language while his words fail him. His jacket and tie come off next and only then does she allow him a kiss. Soothing and reassuring that this is on his terms. He whimpers when she pulls away to unclasp the buttons on his shirt. 

 

She pulls off her own clothes much quicker than she did his and crawls passed him once she's done to lay on the bed. He joins her quickly after and curls his head under her breasts. Listens to her heart up above him as she runs her fingers through his hair just like he needs. Faintly hears the TV turn on and closes his eyes as a show filters through the air. He isn't sure when he falls asleep, only knows that he does because when he wakes up again she's watching something different and has turned the sound down low so he didn't wake up.

 

He turns his head on her stomach and places small kitten licks on her. When she doesn't stir from his ministrations he peers his head up and sees that she too has fallen asleep and just forgot to turn the TV off. He snorts and remem that he told her she'd do just that when she said she wanted one in their bedroom. Told her that it would be a waste of electricity and tried to shoot her down on it. She ended up winning, obviously, and now any time he indulged in the guilty pleasure of watching something she classifies as a nerd show before bed she ends up chuckling at him.

 

He smiles into her skin and decides to have some fun in order to wake her up. He traces patterns into her stomach with his tongue and moves his hand down her leg to trace even more. It isn't until he's doing two different patterns at once that he realizes he's tracing different bits of the equation in her skin. Can feel it tug at him a bit as he goes faster on her leg. 

 

The fall from sane to feral is a melodical one as the equation takes over in his head. Guiding him into the deep recesses of his mind like a lullaby that only he can hear. He feels it sing to him in his bones and follows it down like a drug addict getting his latest fix. 

 

It's a tune, a drug, a storm in his body that demands his attention. It's thunder and lightning rumbling inside him making him shake with terror. A freezing cold that settles over him like he's just come in from a downpour and can't get warm no matter how hard he tries. It's why he hates rain, it's similar to how he feels when he's lost in his head.

 

He taps possible answers to it in quick succession in morse code on the tops of her legs. Pulls his tongue off her belly and runs his face down her repeatedly instead, leaving beard burn in his wake, to finally settle inside her thighs and continues to rub against her. He hears her let out a small moan and knows she's awake when she utters his name like a prayer and returns her hand to the top of his head.

 

He sees the problem behind his eyelids when he closes his eyes and feels like he's going to jump out of his skin. It demands his attention like an old demon he once knew. Wants to leave their bed to go to his office, to the safety of his chalk and empty boards. She's to warm, feels like he's burning her with just her touch. Trying to replace its touch with herself where the equation digs into his skin. Somehow even in his broken state of mind he knows she's trying to help and decides to try to distract himself and do as she pleases. He turns his head up into her pussy and starts to dig in only for her to snap her legs shut on him before he can get in her. The force of her legs closing push him away from his prize and makes him land on the annoying fleshy barrier.

 

He grumbles at her legs and licks in between the crease of them to get his point across. She twists her fingers in his hair and pulls him up and away. Makes him look at her stern face instead. He growls at her and snaps at the air with his teeth in defiance as she sternly tells him no. Feels the other one bubble up in his head and encourage her. Tries to yell at him too and lend him words to use instead of the grunts and growls he seems comfortable with using.

 

*************************************************************

 

She tries to not let anger show on her face as she pulls him out from in between her legs. She knows that it isn't working though. It's not that she's angry with him, just that it's easier to grasp onto at the moment than it is to try to do anything else. Isn't sure how she feels about him trying to initiate sex while he's so lost. Knows that it's wrong on the level that it's taking advantage of him if she'd let him continue but she can't help but feel slightly flattered that even in his addled mindset he still wants to please her, at least momentarily.

 

She doesn't expect him to snap at her with his teeth like a wild animal when she tells him no. Isn't sure what to do when he does it if she's being honest with herself. She's afraid when she looks at him, doesn't see her husband when she looks at the man in front of her. Is actually afraid that the sane part of her husband is lost forever and that he won't come back. The haziness in his eyes is to great, almost like he's trapped in a fog. She knows that it  _ is  _ him though, that the sane and feral are both still Five. They're just different parts of him. Always at odds with the other like two sides of a coin.

 

*************************************************************

 

She says the name Five and he feels a growl leave his throat. Tries to retreat back to the safety of his equation instead. Doesn't want to be near people anymore and only wants to feel the chalk on his fingers as he writes. She says the other one's name again and he shakes his head feverishly at her. Tries to explain as best he can that he isn't Five. That he doesn't have a name. Five is the other one: the rational, _sane_ part of him. He doesn't need one; that what he _needs_ is to be with his chalk and for her to leave him alone.

 

*************************************************************

 

She frowns when he shakes his head in her grasp, only confirming that he doesn't recognize his own name right now. That he thinks they're two separate people. She releases his hair and sits up. Forces him to sit up as well, holds his head in her hands after he does and boxes him in with her feet when he tries to scoot away.

 

“Yes you are. Your name is Number Five. Your brain is so full of numbers that you wanted to be one when we were growing up. It's why you rejected mom when she tried to rename you into something more human. You thought that Reginald had already given you a perfectly acceptable name. Most people retreat to fantasy lands in order to escape trauma. They fill them with magical beings or a safer version of their life. You didn't though. Your made up world was in your notebooks or chalkboard. When you saw a five in an equation you chased it down to try to figure it out before anyone else could because it made sense to you. Being surrounded by other numbers and the letters made more sense to you than real life because you could control the outcome.” She pauses as he keeps shaking his head no at her.

 

“Now you're a little lost right now and that's okay but you're not in the right mindframe for sex. So we're going to lay back down and you're going to listen to my heart to calm down instead. You can trace the equation into my skin if you want but only if you go slow.”

 

*************************************************************

 

It's to much information. To many words being said. He tries to pull away once more only to be stopped by her hands. She pulls him back down with her like they were before. Flicks his nose when he tries to pull up more towards her nipples. 

 

“No.” He whines out. 

 

Startling them both if her small jump was anything to go by. He know it startles him because the sane one pushes against his hold on their head more. Knocks against the wall they had set up between them and then gasps against it when the word comes out of their throat.

 

He wants to ravage her. Fight against the lullaby the math sings in his head with the only way he knows how. Doesn't want to lay her like she does. The sane one does; wants them to do as she asks and calm down. He bucks his head under her breasts and lets out a low whine when she doesn't release him.

 

*************************************************************

 

She shushes him when he tries to pull away from her. He grumbles when he realizes she's not letting him go but eventually settles like she wants. Hums out a random tune to fill the silence of their room. Uses her power to pulse at the wind chimes outside and tunes into his erratic heartbeat for fuel. Makes her cello that he had gotten her as an anniversary present one year play a low tune to match her hum.

 

He whines at her more as music fills their silence. Shakes his head against her ribs, tickling her breasts with his hair, like he's trying to not hear the music she's making.

 

*************************************************************

 

It infiltrates his ears and gets stuck in his head, her song of recovery. Drowns out the itch in his bones. Makes the math melt away from behind his eyes when he closes them as reflex. Tells his fingers to stop tapping out numbers on her skin that he hadn't even known he was producing until he stops.

 

It tells him to breathe slower than he has been and makes the feral fall asleep inside him. Lets the sane take control once more. Curls around in his head and makes him stop shaking. She doesn't stop when he finally stills completely. Keeps going until she finds her own end to the song. Makes it pulse around the room and seep into their walls.

 

He wants to record it. Track it so he knows what it's made of. He's always fascinated at how she can make music out of nothing. How her brain always hears some type of tune.

 

It ends slow, the last notes thrum through the air at a lazy pace. Like they know it's ending and don't want to stop. He wonders briefly if she'll continue the tune inside her head. Wants to ask if she'll play it again so he can record it somehow but also feels like recording it would be crossing a line. Like it would kill it somehow. Right now it's alive and pulsing through both of them and he feels like if he lets other people hear it then it'll lose its magic.

 

“Thank you.” He says roughly when he finally finds his voice and the music ends.

 

“Welcome back.” She replies simply. 

 

He knows what she said but to him it sounded more like Welcome home, which is basically the same thing. He knows not to apologize. It's not the first time this has happened and knows it won't be the last.

 

“You're still you.” She reminds him when he rolls off of her to the other side and he looks around the room like he forgot something.

 

“Yeah. I guess I am.” He replies. Smiles at her as she scoots over to him to curl up on his chest instead. She puts on the Netflix and makes sure it's on the same show they've been binging for the past few weeks both intent on snuggling the rest of the day away and will have some random boxed food for dinner.

  
  


He's grateful that she doesn't say anything else. Knows that it'll take him a couple more hours to be human again. That when he gets sent the pictures that he'll drag his notebooks out of his office to work on it a couple days later under her watchful eye while she does her own thing just in case he starts to slip again.

**Author's Note:**

> At first I was gonna make him sane when they got home and just cuddle but then it didn't make sense in my head which is why it's drawn out.
> 
> Also it's my personal headcanon that Five says the in front of any apps regardless of how many times he's told otherwise that it doesn't go there.


End file.
